i think this template is much, much better. =]

meeting lati in another hour or so..think go watch movie lar. if not, just walk around town? dyn couldnt go, sher cant..left 2 of us only. aiz-

am so so so bored....

My baby don't mess around
Because she loves me so
And this I know fo shooo..
Uh, But does she really wanna
But can't stand to see me
Walk ou the dooo..
Don't try to fight the feelin'
Because the thought alone is killing me right nooww..
Uh, thank god for mom and dad
For sticking two together
'Cause we don't know hooowww...
UH!

Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..

great song..just like signed, sealed, delivered, im yours..haha. i must be really damn bored..

got bored of template..but this is temporary..not like im a fan of hillary duff..

my back is aching!! aiz- think because of yest fitness. jeez- sprint/jog nonstop for 10mins..4 sets of that without water break and only less than 5 min break in between..damn tiring. after that, everybody was lethargic...didnt do anything properly.

after training, went to find the instructors..by the time i got there they finished checking tents already, but isyarudin and shafiq wouldnt let me go home with netballers. they damn crapp lar. in the end, i went ljs with elaine and all..but on the way back, saw netballers crossing from the bbt shop so i got off and joined them..haha.

just now, got back from instructors' meeting. 12.30 to 3.45..thought it would never end. i never expected to have so much stuff to confirm just for an orientation camp and this year, the camp is only 2days, 1 night.

still unsure about the clash of netball and orientation camp on monday..supposed to call mr teo later..sickening.

im so bored..im sick of my template too.

merry x-mas!!

haha..boring christmas. bleaghs- sort of forgot about sheila's party today and when i did remember, didnt feel like going anymore. when i woke up, hp was flooded with christmas messages. did my fair share of spreading the christmas cheer. =] afterwards was a waste of a perfect day. spent all day lazing around, playing with the phone..

sick. tomorrow got training and after that, gotta join the instructors to check tents..make sure nothing wrong with them so the next batch of pampered sec1s will enjoy their orientation camp. if we cant check finish the camps, gotta come back on sat..and then got meeting. last few days of holidays seem to be so hectic!

its like..holidays are ending..school is gonna start. the year is ending. i just got used to sec2!! =( nd on dec29..my cousins are coming to sg cause its too cold to study in nepal.. *grumbles*

yest was wonderful!!!hahah..when i got to the orientation thingy, got the blue shirt..its actually older instructor shirts lar but its temporary. think by the real orientation next week, we should have our shirts ler. woah- debriefed about day before..damn long lor..afterwards, we still had a "workshop" for 3hrs at the surfing-in room! bleaghs- really crappy lar.

afterwards, while preparing for games, saw all the netballers, preparing for bbq. i was a station master but since so little groups, went to netball girls for food..haha. crapped with jeremy, my patner..then think about 5, food dept went to collect dinner..which is me and royce and all lar..there was chaos about number of forks and spoons for nasi lemak. lack of communication among kitchen/food dept lar..bleaghs- after dinner i went home to get netball stuff while the rest went up to hall for "orientation night". on the way back to school, could hear the john in the hall..his voice damn loud. haha..

was just in time to catch the instructors do aperformance..they sang a whole new world from aladdin. elroy play the piano damn nice lor..then camp chiefs sang richard marx's right here waiting..the oldest song around. haha..the debriefing was worse than the one before everything. they debriefed for more than an hour mann. by the time i could go back to netball, it was already almost 10.30. meaning, no food for me. sadded. haha..we played thinking games and stuff..lazed around..wanling's sister came. she does those glittery body art and everybody was waiting in line for her to do the body art on them. by the time the last person did it, it was like almost 2am? jeez-

suddenly, they wanted to play treasure hunt..just to pass the time..so we did..haha. played till like almost 4am mann. totally freaked. misinterpretations of all the clues..haha. after that, mr teo just let us be lar. but somehow we all like couldnt sleep. only small aisyah was sleeping since before the treasure hunt lor. we went to teachers' lounge to get food from the vending machines. pity the teachers if they dont have thier own food. the vending machine food really sucked. bleaghs- sec3s stayed to play cards with mr teo. gambling. haha. ,eanwhile, sec1/2 we all went back to the classroom we sleeping in to just waste time. idea came up lar..so we sec1/2 went to parade square play with sparkles. haha..damn childish lar..but it helped pass the time. finally around 5am, sec1s went to sleep. followed by syid and nadiah.

while they sleeping, me/big aisyah/pearlene/ms siti were sitting at the podium at parade sq. telling ghost stories..basically just crapping. haha..woah- got people run around dunman at 5plus lehz. haha. big aisyah suggested bringing out the mat and we did. haha..laid it out in front of the flag poles and we all laid down there. looked ridiculous lor..3 girls and a teacher lying in the middle of the parade square. haha..but fun lar..think about 6 like that, we all fell asleep.

but somehow, i woke up at 6.30 lar..it was way too cold. me/big aisyah then just continued talking crapp lor. the office people and cleaners were coming into the school and staring at us. haha..at 7plus, saw others at the calssroom waking up so we took in the mat. haha..as soon as we done that, without even brushing teeth, blah blah, we go play basketball..haha. overall, the overnight damn cool lor. stay awake almost all night! i wanna go again..haha..and maybe later i going out with big aisyah..after i get my sleep that is..

and my 3200 is finally here!! =] got a lot of free gifts with the delivery. cool..

yest was hectic. tiring..bleaghs- morning went to netball..but at same time had to go for that orientation thingy..told firdaus then he said he'll ask mr.teo and all..in the end, they all went out orienteering w/o me..i wanted to go..aiz- instead, was at netball..playing with basketballers. my defender was a fat guy. mann was ike suffering there lor..stinking all the way. bleaghs-then for dunno what reason, coach got pissed off at us.

when i went to look for instructors, royce asked me go eat and come back round 4 since the orienterring finished at 4went home and when i came back, some of them were back already and we had to wait for the rest of the orienteering people to come back..when they did, some instructor..dont know who the heck he is..lectured instructors. something about 26 "campers" and taking more than 4hrs to orienteer..what would happen when on the actual day 320 campers went to orienteer.. boring. for a while he reminded me of coach. afterwards..had lotsa free time because "campers" [actually facilitators for the actual orientation camp next week] were preparing for a fake orientation night, tonight. and since im kitchen dept..while everyone field cooking, had to eat after everyone ate finish. a hassle to start the solid fuel and all so the instructors in my temporay group, ian/elroy and me, we all ate rice with cold baked beans and sardine. disgusting.

after dinner, games dept planned a so-called CSI. finding the murderer. at one of the stations, shafiq just walked out from a corridor with a light stick and the group started screaming. swear i couldve gone deaf. we instuctors werent supposed to help the "campers" so we were just tagging along, talking crapp and all. haha..was with masturah/krish/jeremy pk/alvin..afterwards, firdaus/isyarudin also joined our group..

debriefed..mr bernard talked to us..and so later we must report at 11 for 2nd day of "camp". think ill leave early so that i can come home to get my overnight stuff then head for the netball bbq..hopefully, we will be watching LOTR - midnight movie then walking back to school..haha..sounds fun. =] oh yeah..dad ordered 3200 for me!! so excited..haha..said that could be my christmas present. should be delivered today i think..or is it tomorrow..but heck, its gonna be delivered.. =]

im all smiles!! haha..just now sorta fell asleep for a while..dad ask me follow him go loyang point. =] to check out 3200. wanna get it but still not sure if dad will let. still contemplating if i really want it..haha..then we talked about studies/netball..basically, me. sort of like bonding? haha..damn bored now. watching willard. some sick guy who likes rats or something? bleaghs-

runs end. running doesnt.

said a nike dry fit shirt. 50bucks. cashless person speaking. bleaghs-

im finally home..games at kallang. yeah..was for the umpires. woah- coach made us play non-stop mann. today is like..damn lethargic. wrists felt funny..shots werent going in. too much netball. bleaghs-

then last night, game at bedok. think it was good. not as in we played well but it was good. positive outcomes. aunty julie explained exact same things as coach. seems we, dmn sec netball, are a team that has lots of potential..however, something is missing. she also said im very lax on the court. am i? o.O anyways..it was like 11plus when i got home..lati called late late late at night. stupid orientation thing meeting. i cant be bothered about it.

i complain too much.

on the way back, passed by the ossia building. got another sale! feel like going but cash-less..aiz-

last night was a bit disturbing. eurgh- details not included. got back from kallang about an hour ago. bleaghs- so it was true..we went there just to shooooott! aiz- but not bad lar..just sick of shooting. coach arranged cones there and asked us to shoot once from each and all..same thing as in school training lar. lingxin joined us. about 10plus or so..coach asked us watch games. anglican like seems to be weaker? or maybe its cause they probably didnt put in their full strength. maybe. kc definately didnt. there's just another 1month till the east zone begins. another cycle of torturous training. but for sec3s..last time lar.

my cow is so crappy. =] but thats the fun part! haha..i got like another 2/3hours before i go off again to meet my cow first..i need more socks lar..she'll accompany me. and then meet longxin/yeanping/lingxin for the game at bedok. gonna be tired..damn tired. then still must get down to kallang tomorrow! talk about lack of sleep. think if cow's mum doesnt send me and renaeus tomorrow, we'll go in cab!! no way am i waking up at 5am to get to kallang in time. bleaghs-

oh yeah..met john lester..and hes asking me why i didnt go for any meetings for that sec1 orientation thingy. jeez- i dont even know anything about it.

oh, and here's something ironic: the person who told me about me being in the orientation thing AND who ticked yes FOR me WITHOUT my PERMISSION that i was gonna be an instructor isnt giving me any blardie details about the orientation camp. heck she aint even AVAILABLE.

managed to get home before being caught in the rain.

morning woke up early just to go shoot cause we wanna improve our shooting. yeanping/longxin was late. haha..on the way to school, met zul. seeing him in long pants..quite ok lar..but that's cause he's quite big. haha..gonna have a good laugh when school reopens. =]

halfway, which is after 100shots [including statistics], longxin called coach. seems we shooters must go down to kallang tomorrow morning. probably to shoot right since its just shooters. to shoot, go all the way to kallang..aiz- juniors are training in school and coach is with us in kallang. might as well have it in school then we wont have to wake up so early. aiz- to add, tomorrow night, 7pm got games at bedok court. and guess what? bedok that club also got red jerseys..haha..gonna be totally red at bedok court tomorrow night. following that, sat morning got training must be in kallang by 7am. jeez- this whole week has been netball netball netball. woah-

anyways, after calling coach, called and disturbed angeline. called her when she was sleeping.. whee~ she's back from australia. now she can join us back in training. haha..forced her to meet us go longxin's house where we redid our poster for netball. haha. "aggressiveness" damn long lor, the blardie word. bleaghs- but it was fun lar..couldnt be bothered to use paintbrushes, so it was like fingerpainting! its damn colourful! haha..like primary school kids do one..we put our handprints all over and made fake baby footprints. longxin got lingxin [her sis] to cut off their sasha's [their dog] hair from her paw to put her pawprint also. haha..damn cute. hung there till about 2 i think..yeanping and me wanted to play with sasha but today she like damn scared of us [as in anyone other than longxin and family member]. sasha scared of rain mann..so cuuuttee..haha.

didnt wanna get caught in the rain so we left in a rush. i left the netball at longxin's house. forgot to take it lar..haha. anyways, fun what..can see longxin meeting us in the morning carrying 2 balls. haha.

training was...ok. impossible to say its good. cause wanling is right. whenever we ge to the stage when we're b div, we're just training like heck, all stressed up. dont remember feeling like this in sec1..it was way more fun. noone expected anything from us and it was fun.

anyways, yest the fitness was great. pretty fun..haha..mr teo's netball playground esp. just now we played games also..coach wanted 15-20 shots per 10min of game. aiz- talk about stresss..then said we shooters cant shoot properly, blah blah. she also said we all were lazy, so tired when comes to training and she cancelled tomorrow mornings fitness. but i think longxin/yeanping/me still going school in morning to shoot.

then after fitness we all went home then gathered again to go ms siti's house. haha..the food very nice mann. then saw ms siti's mum and younger bro..her house very..neat. even her room..haha..all pink. then saw the bear 2e gave her. i like her room..haha..but the bed a bit small lar. we were supposed to stay there from 12-3 round there but we all ended up leaving at 5plus. we got hooked on LOTR - 2towers. haha. really cool. i wanna watch return of the king!!if i get a break from netball that is. afterwards went to nabilah's house. saw faiz and their sis also. woah- their house got like rings hanging from the ceiling then nabilah say faiz do pull ups there. haha. we all tried..only longxin and wanling can do complete pull up. but it was fun to try lar.

we actually also wanted to go dewi's house follwed by longxin's house but in the didnt cause it was already almost 7 by the time we left nabilah's place. but the seniors went to dewi's house. just now training big aisah told me they were sort of gambling at dewi's house. haha. 10/20cents. haha..and they panic when dewi's dad got home. aisah and me was also wondering how come being a muslim is so strict.

hmmx..learning more songs on guitar..like i got anything better to do anyways. aiz- dont really want to mention names lar but some people are really pissing me off. wait, not some people. this person. go figure.

stupid holiday!! punishment: tues [tmr] wed and thurs training. aaarrgghh- then sat must be in kallang by 7am.
aiz- sickening lar. just cause some people never did their reflections. sicckkkk!!!!

stupid facade.

Powerless (Say What You Want)

Paint my face in your magazines
Make it look whiter than it seems
Paint me over with your dreams
Shove away my ethnicity
Burn every notion that
I may have a flame inside to fight
And say just what is on my mind
Without offending your might

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

I saw her face outside today
Weatherworn, looking all the rage
They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster
Now it’s moccasins we sport
We take the culture and contort
Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
But say what you want
Say what you want

Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in
Hey you, the one that don’t fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in
Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your
Broken teeth, broken jaw, broken mojo
Yeah, this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless, what are you gonna do

powerless. thats how i feel. powerless to control my own emotions. just one glance at some things and more than one emotion takes over me..but i cant quite describe it.

games are being played but you may not realise it. things you do make me feel like im a nobody.

mann..the whole day was..fun. =] other than my feet being all wrinkled up. bleaghs-

met ren, shing ee and pearlene then went kallang. cow was thr so early. hardworking lar she. all of a sudden. haha..think she reached bout 1. we reached 1.15 lidat. afterwards, the rest started streaming in. didnt really know what to do so just did some ball drills blah blah.

think about 3plus then we started the games. was fun! haha. played with prc also. but i didnt wear specs so was kinda blur lar. ex seniors like yen wei, yingying, chun pei, yi siew also comeplay games i think. yen wei came to umpire. all of them are..white. seriously. after everything, thanked mr goh for training the girls while i wasnt in sg. actually, we all were hoping dewi would come so can give her her birthday present but she didnt come. bought her a huge elmo! haha. very cute..and a sunflower. but after everything, the sunflower closed up cause no sun.

oh yeah..mr teo also came with ian! so small..so cute. haha..we still havent got for ian the shoe we wanted to get. last time i went back to royal sporting house, they didnt have that shoe on display already.

hmmx..stupid cow. talking loads of crapp. wont forgive her fer breaking my heart! haha. crapp lar.

the new heineken ad damn cute. haha. "imagine me and you, and you and me..........so happy togethheeerrr" =]

i wanna watch school of rock! haha. seems like a great movie. =] so many movies i wanna watch. oh yeah..mr teo is planning some barbeque for us. like a christmas barbeque. hmmx..got my new netball shorts today.

im bored..bored bored bored bored bored.

ooh..training was..ok, i guess? kenna scolded like heck from coach. she was comparing us to prcs. obviously, we were the lousier team. bleaghs- finally after she scolded us, we did better. its always like that..not good..not good at all. aiz- ran 2.4 also. i must improve. 13.08 not good enough. then chiew ching say i must go run, go improve stamina if not very difficult to get into team. aiz-

after coach left, npcc guys asked us play game with them..played so long cause they wanted to play. in the end, we left school at 3plus. to make things worse, i thought if i took the first bus and crossed the bridge, i could beat the rain. unfortunately, as i did do, it rained heavily. was drenched to the bone! once i reached home, the rain subsides. argh- feeling as if im a jinx to myself today.

but then today is dewi`s birthday. tomorrow after netball think we all will be going out with her. maybe. if its not too late.

dunno why but im pretty happy today..perhaps i shuldnt be, considering all the thoughts in my head. bleaghs-

just got back from interchange..sent my cousin off. she came over yest after my training. training. coach came back..seems she really can tell that i didnt keep my fitness up. starting to feel that now even if i dont get into the team, i wont be affected in a big way..anyways, after i picked my cousin up, we went to watch duplex! finally get to watch it.. =]

got home late..then stayed up..talked all night. it always happens when we get together. haha..this morning i went to school with dyn to get books. irma [or is it erma] and her mum took us to school..saw marcus. no wonder dyn saying he so cute. [shouldnt be getting ideas cause marcus is like 2yrs old.] jeez- the books for next year are blardie heavy. i didnt have enough money so we had to go withdraw money then come back. bleaghs- bumped into shereen. shes in c..aww. haha. she can hang with lati next year i guess. it occured to me that next year i really gotta work hard. i dont have lit/art to help pull my grades.

afterwards, dyn went east coast with irma/erma, her mum and marcus i think. meanwhile, i went home to my cousin. we played squash and then went to swim. then was dinner and blah blah blah, so the story goes. im getting bored..sleepy...

aww mann. my whole freakin body is aching!! was damn tired as a result of lack of sleeeep. knocked out till 12plus until mum called and woke me up. haven had lunch..nothing to eat anyways.

aiz- i dowanna train tmr! i can hardly move and im expected to run/sprint like i got all the energy in the world. sickening.

first day of training since i got back. felt like i was gonna collapse. coach was sick so mr teo took over and we had fitness. fitness. first training and i have to kenna fitness. aiz- but not so bad i guess..was just that sprinting part. afterwards syid followed me go buy guitar string. i broke the string. again. first time it was my dad, the second time was me, when i just got back from nepal.

im tired. throbbing headache, backache, muscleaches and for some reason, whenever i breathe deeply, my lung/heart hurts.

yest went to watch hindustan movie with mum and cousins. dunno why i like those films, even if they make me cry, haha..somebody was saying his uncle said all women are like that. will cry at every little thing. haha.

aww mann. my vacation ended too soon and monday im gonna hafta go back into training. bleaghs- i swear, i couldve stayed on forever. the last week was real fun. haha..me and my cousins all went last min outings/shopping. one thing i was pissed about when i was there was the communists thingy. its causing havoc within the nation. esp at the airport. more like a prison. people cant even go in to send off their relatives/friends.

anyways, flight was uneventful. seriously dull. stopped at kl before continuing on to sg. didnt get sleep at all. was damn tired when i got back yest. but it was worth it i guess. the sight from the plane at night was beautiful. all the colourful bright lights. =] when i got back, it felt like an oven. feeling hot but youre not sweating. what could be worse.

was kinda surprised to see lotsa other peeps got their blogs working too. means i got lots of updating to do. bleaghs- training..dreading it after a month of lazing around.